Sometimes Priorities Must Change

One piece of advice I have given over the years to younger people facing significant changes (leaving home, marriage, having children, buying a home) is this:

'Your priorities will be changed forever.  Nothing, I, or anyone else can tell you will prepare you for the changing of your priorities.  There is no way to compare or explain it—you simply must accept, adapt, and make it your own.  But, most of all, adapt without resistance.'

I certainly cannot say I always followed my advice through the years, especially when I was younger.  Fortunately, I had a role model who helped me see that there are no stumbling blocks---only stepping stones.  My dad got up every morning of his life and said, "It's a good day; the sun is shining." (Even when it was pouring down rain---somewhere the sun was shining.)

Thankfully, through the multiple marriages, raising children on my own, abuse and starting over---again and again, and again.  Even as recently as seven years ago, I had those words to keep me going.

Why do people resist change?  I believe, mostly, because of fear of the unknown, and some people cannot accept a change or new priorities.

My best example is the way my parents individually changed and adapted, or in the case of my mother, did not. 

From major changes like diet and stopping smoking to removing a rug to prevent falls or simply to keep moving were all huge impossibilities for my mother.

My dad LOVED change—his famous advice to me was, "Miss Patricia, never get into a rut, learn new things, new ways of living, and make it your best."

My mother, on the other hand, would never sit anywhere but one spot, not eat anything but a few foods, would not quit smoking, follow doctor's orders or even take medication for high blood pressure or diabetes!  The only way she would change is when she was in the full throes of dementia, and even then, she tried to punch nurses regularly when they tried to give her insulin shots in the nursing home.

My dad was happy and motivated to the very end.  My mother was miserable and impossible til the very end.

We have all had to adapt and evolve throughout time---- throughout history.  If our ancient ancestors had not modified and changed priorities, most of us would not even be here. 

New priorities are part of life, part of growth, and part of accepting we are all in this together, and yet, none of us have any control. 

Having hope and faith through any adversity and change is the only way to ensure we are moving forward. Today our lives are changed forever, and it's our choice how we accept and adapt to our new priorities, for our survival and growth.

Priorities

Life circles around us.

Forcing us to kneel and pause.

Our priorities change,

daily,  even by the hour.

Refusing to move forward

prevents growth.

Sometimes, what is the hardest

to accept,

the toughest to cope with

brings us the most insight,

Into the realm of love.

It's always a choice.