I Listen to a Walking Encyclopedia
I have listed many times what I have learned from caring for
Corbin. One big whopping lesson is to be
present! Totally present.
When he was very young I had to pay attention to much more
than words, so we could communicate. He may have had the words in his brain,
but there was glitch that would keep the right words to come forth. So, I developed over the years how to know
what he was saying by other cues.
But, I had to be watchful, attentive and I had to be present.
There couldn’t be computers, tv, phones, cooking, cleaning to
disrupt the connection. These are disruptions for
all kids and adults from connecting.
Fast forward to age 13 and his encyclopedic knowledge of
Professional Wrestling is astounding. We have, a
probable 8 hours per day, engagement of thousands of facts and stories and
matches. I must be present. I must learn and
acknowledge his lectures and rhetoric.
How else can I engage in regular conversation when he quizzes me on what
he told me a week ago? “Oh, Nana, you
know that! Remember last week I told you….”
I must be present. I must grab the opportunities to ask and
answer questions about his life and mine.
Thereby, teaching him “real” conversation. He may sit in the kitchen for
our conversation or sit on the arm of my chair.
But, I’m there—in the whole— (without eyes darting to catch my phone or
whatever). I’m totally in the present moment with Corbin, and there is no
better place to be.
Why, Nana?
Have you ever had long
hair, Nana?
“Only twice.”
Why do you like short
hair, Nana?
“It’s easy to take care of, and it’s who I am.”
Why do you like your
hair gray, Nana?
“It shows I’ve lived and learned.”
Why don’t you eat
meat, Nana?
“I never liked meat that much, and I like veggies better.”
Why don’t you go to my
church, Nana?
“God is everywhere, Corbin, not just in your church.”
Why do you knit, Nana?
“Because I love everyone I knit for.”
“Any more questions, Corbin?”
Yeah, do you feel old,
Nana?
“No, Corbin, especially when I’m with you.”
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